The Anatomy of a Nepalese Soap Opera

All women must have on a ridiculous amount of eye makeup on and cry silently. Tears will appear on their face when the director switches frames. Their eye makeup NEVER smudges.

When something serious happens, zoom in on the face of the person involved. Use sophisticated digital editing to make their face move slightly to the left quickly 4 or 5 times. Every time the picture of their face moves, make a sound like someone shooting a Buzz Lightyear space gun. Do this over and over again until the audience understands the seriousness of the event.

Make sure that in every episode someone is beaten up in slow motion. You can use the zoom technique described above to indicate seriousness.

I know that the show is in Nepali so I don’t understand a lot, but someone is always crying. Last night this girl got all dressed up like a floozy and put in green contacts. She went to the club where she ran into her husband (literally) who was wearing hiking boots, jeans and a jean jacket. He didn’t recognize her due to the green contacts even though he’s married to her. He decided right then and there that she was beautiful and he must have her. The girl went off into the corner and smirked b/c she proved he would cheat on her. Then she started to cry out of her green contacts. I just don’t get this stuff.

(If one person makes a crack about my obsession with Buffy the Vampire Slayer, you’re gonna get it.)